St. John Paul II’s Theology of the Body is an important piece of the Catholic faith, rendered more so in this time where our culture is seeking to remove the distinctions between men and women as well as to exploit bodies as objects. The Catholic Church holds up the body as good and holy, and that’s certainly something that I want my children to learn as truth from a young age.

Buuuut, Theology of the Body in full is a complicated series of dense talks given by JPII when he was Pope. The full text is thick, and while definitely worth reading, difficult to distill for kids. Thankfully, there are some wonderful authors who have used their gifts to make this topic accessible for families.

For us an introduction to Theology of the Body for our kids has been a lot of giving them appropriate vocabulary, and having lots of regular conversations about healthy, strong bodies and wills.

I wanted to share with you some of our favorite books and tips for how we approach the subject of bodies with our young kids.

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Tips We’ve Found Helpful

We are by no means veterans when it comes to introducing Theology of the Body to our kids, but we have found a few things to be very helpful. These are tips we’ve learned from experiences in the education and medical fields as well as lots of research and reading on the topic of parenting

Use Correct Anatomical Names for Body Parts

This is good practice for many reasons. First, it models respect and openness and decreases shaming of those body parts. Using proper names helps a child develop a healthy body image. Second, there are studies that show using correct terminology decreases the chances the of a child being a victim of abuse. Children whose parents have taught them the proper names are less likely to be targets because its clear that they have the vocabulary to talk about their genitals and that their parents are willing to discuss those parts of the body with them.

Be Up Front and Direct

We have very purposeful and regular conversations with our children about what parts of their bodies are private and who is allowed to touch them or see them. They know that it’s okay for Mommy and Daddy to see them naked in the bathtub and while helping them dress, and that it’s okay for their doctor to check them out (as long as mom and dad are there) to make sure that their whole body is healthy. But we are very clear about the fact that other people are not meant to see them naked, nor are they meant to see other people naked.

No Secrets, Just Surprises

In our family we don’t keep secrets, we only have surprises. Our kids know that it’s okay to keep a surprise from someone- for example, when we buy Daddy a birthday present, we don’t tell him what it is right away-, but we don’t have secrets, especially not from mom and dad.

This is because often times, when a child is abused or assaulted, there is a sense of shame instilled in them and they are told not to tell their parents. We talk about no secrets all the time because we want that to be our kids’ instinctual response.

Here’s a great article from a Denver mom (and where I learned this from!). As our kids get older and can read, we will be implementing more of her body safety rules too.

Read the Lives of the Saints, Especially Those Who Didn’t Always Conform to the Norm

Girls can be strong. Boys can be sensitive. While there are absolutely pieces of our identity that make men and women different, our culture puts a lot of emphasis on the pieces that don’t actually meet that definition. I want my kids to grow up understanding that what it means to be a boy doesn’t always look like what he sees on television or in books or even at the playground. I want my girls to see that being a girl isn’t defined by society’s version of what it means to be feminine.

I want my children to grow up understanding that they are a body and a soul, and I want them to have a healthy and whole understanding of what it means to be a person. So in addition to teaching them about their biology, we teach them theology. And we teach them about the lives of the saints, making sure to include those saints who didn’t always conform to traditional gender roles (I’m looking at you Joan of Arc).

Theology of the Body Books for Kids That Have Helped Us Explain Tough Topics

Given that our kids are still young (5, 3, and 18 months), we spend a lot of time reading aloud to them. Gianna especially, we’ve found, learns a lot through reading. It’s definitely her preferred method of soaking up information. I’m a reader too, and so we’ve put together a little collection of books that are on the topic of Theology of the Body for kids (or are TOB adjacent).

TOB Building Blocks Series

I was so excited to find the Building Blocks for TOB for Kids series. The authors do a great job of distilling the message of theology of the body for kids. The language is simple and straightforward.

Each set is a series of 3- one set of board books for kids 2-5 and another set of paperbacks for preschoolers/early elementary kids. I highly recommend both.

Both sets focus on the truth that bodies are good and holy- that God created our bodies to speak a language to us. Both sets also tell children that they have a choice about whether to listen to their bodies. For example, the toddler books explain that when your body wants to run around during mass, you can choose to be still and play after. I love this both/and approach because it is perfectly in line with our faith. Yes, we need to listen to what our bodies tell us and respect the needs of our bodies, but we are also more than our bodies and have a will to put to good use.

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr.

This book was recommended to us by a local friend a couple of years ago, and it is a must have for any family. The unfortunate reality is that our children will be exposed to some form of pornography at some point. I want my kids to have the vocabulary to let me know so that we can handle it together.

This book approaches pornography without any shame attached and gives kids an action plan for what to do if and when they see a bad picture. It also has some tips and resources for parents in the back, which are very helpful.

If you’ve got an older kid, check out the original Good Pictures, Bad Pictures.

Colorfull

Colorfull isn’t strictly TOB, but it’s definitely adjacent, and one of my favorite books I’ve come across. The tag line reads “celebrating the colors God gave us,” and it’s a great read aloud about diversity and the glory of creation.

I Like Myself

Another Theology of the Body adjacent book, this gloriously illustrated board book instills confidence in who children are. It is a consistent favorite in our house.

When God Made You

We discovered this book thanks to our character education curriculum from Beautiful Feet Books. I’m a big fan of illustrator David Catrow, but had never come across author Matthew Turner before. The book is just beautiful, and the text is melodious.

Beyond the Birds and the Bees

This one is for the parents. I’m a big fan of Greg and Lisa Popcak. I’ve always found their parenting style and advice to be both faith-filled and practical. This book was no exception. All about how to raise sexually whole (and holy) kids, this book is chock-full of helpful information for parents raising kids of all ages. I’ve appreciated that this book (and Parenting with Grace) has helped build my own vocabulary and understanding of this topic.

If you are looking for more resources on this topic, click on over to IndisposableMama for a post on TOB for beginners.

And if you’ve got teens, Bonnie over at Koala Mom has a great review up of a book for teens.