43 more to go! But who’s counting. . .
This week Mark had his first set of exams in histology and anatomy, and I’m proud to report that he aced both of them. We have made it through our first month of medical school and are starting to find our rhythm. Now that the moving is done and the school year has started, we have been able to settle down and find a routine that works for our family, which has been a bit of a process of trial and error. When Mark was accepted into medical school and we made the decision for me to stay home, I got online and started looking for articles and blogs from families who were doing what we were about to attempt. I lots of articles about starting a family during residency, but very little about family life during medical school, so I wanted to share our experiences in the hopes that it helps someone else. Here’s what we’ve discovered so far:
Mark studies best in the early morning when no one is awake. We knew early mornings were the most productive time of the day for him from his year as a urology scribe. He would wake up at 4:30am each morning to prep the days charts. He’skept that schedule for himself, and awakens each morning between 4-4:30 to study. This has been a win-win for us as it allows him to get the most done when he at his freshest and also frees up his time later in the day for quality time with his family. I cannot over-emphasize how important these morning study hours are for us. It makes all the difference in the world to our days.
He’s usually ready for a break right around the time Gianna and I wake up, which is generally somewhere between 7-7:30am, which is great timing because it means that she gets some great playtime with Daddy first thing in the morning. After 15 minutes or so of snuggles and playing in bed, the three of us are ready to face the day. This morning routine has been a fabulous way for us to start the day connected.
After a quick breakfast, he’s out the door around 8:15, armed with his travel mug of coffee and a home made lunch. This may sound silly, but one of the things I’ve loved about being home has been having the time to make Mark a lunch in the mornings. When we were both working, the mornings were so crazy that often times he was the one making sure the baby and I had everything we needed for the day (men take a lot less to get ready in the morning!). I missed being able to take care of him and am grateful to have the opportunity now.
Gigi and I attempt mass some mornings, depending on what time she woke up and how quickly I can get her out the door. I wish we could manage it every day, and if mass were only 15 minutes later I think we would . . . The grace that is poured out makes such a diffference in my heart and soul! We try very hard to make it on Wednesdays, as St. Paul has a special devotion to Our Lady of Perpetual Help after mass. Such a help!
Days at home are busy and each one is different. I am trying to get Gianna on a nap schedule, but that is still a struggle, so we’re taking it one day at a time. Gram reads and does crosswords, and we have times of great conversation as we watch Gianna play. We take walks, play on the floor, visit with friends, go to the park. I’m sure the days will begin to drag at some point, but so far they seem to just fly by.
One piece of advice I was given when Gigi was first born was to make dinner early in the day whenever you have the opportunity, and boy does it pay off when I remember to do it! I try to at least prep veggies or throw something in the crockpot (Skinnytaste is my favorite place for recipes these days) in the late morning because otherwise the day gets away from me and Gianna inevitably has fussy time at 4:30 or 5 just as I’m thinking about dinner.
I recently read this article on Verily Magazine, and Mark and I both loved the idea. (Don’t tell Gram, but we’re going to start with martinis. When she was a young woman, before she got married, she would come home from work and have martinis with her parents before dinner each day. She tells that story fondly, and its parts of the reason we’d like to try a ritual like that in our house). We’re going to give it a shot, but haven’t started yet, so I’ll let you know how it goes.
We eat dinner as a family every night. We both grew up in family’s that did that and its important to us that Gianna learns the value of dinnertime as something more than just eating. After dinner and dishes Mark usually settles in for another couple of hours of studying (punctuated by a bedtime routine) while Grams and I enjoy The Big Bang Theory, Modern Family, and Everybody Loves Raymond.
Gianna’s bedtime routine has evolved over the past months as we’ve tried a million different sleep techniques, but that is an entire blog in of itself, so I won’t get into it here. Suffice to say that we have managed to convince her that sleep isn’t the worst thing in the world and that she is now able to fall asleep on her own and stay asleep most of the time (please please may it continue!).
Once the Little One is down for the count, Mark and I usually follow soon after as we are both tired from the day. And then we wake up and do it again.
I’m sure we will have to adjust our expectations and routine as Mark’s classes get harder and he needs more time to study, but so far this is a great schedule for us. It gives Mark the study time he needs while maintaining enough quality time for our family. It doesn’t leave me feeling like the entire weight of our home is on my shoulders and gives him opportunities to pitch in that don’t overwhelm him when he’s already so busy. And it punctuates his day with time spent playing and interacting with his wife and daughter which is a great stress- release for us all.