As with anything, our morning routine has evolved over the years, and has changed with each new stage of life we reach. But what has been a constant, is that we always have a morning routine.
When I was a missionary, we lived by a rule of life modeled after the Rule of St. Benedict. And I loved it. Not necessarily everything about it (hello chapter of faults), but the order, the organization, the creation of space for the important things. That was my favorite part about living by a rule of life- the creation of space for what matters most. As a missionary, the building blocks of our day were holy hour, liturgy of the hours, formation class, and service. A day off or a desert day (a day of silent prayer) was built into each week. Everything else we did fit around these pieces, not the other way around.
My life as a mom doesn’t look like it did when I was a missionary, and I don’t have a written rule of life I follow (more power to the moms who do!), but I do have a routine that I follow, that helps me and my kids to make the most of our time, to put first things first. I thought I’d share today a bit about our morning routine, as it’s the foundation of our day. Here’s what it looks like:
Morning Routine
Wake Up and Pray Morning Offering
Thank you dear Lord for this precious new day. Please guide us in love as we grow, work, and play.
Breakfast: feed kids, unload dishwasher, make coffee
Start first load of laundry
AM Kitchen Chores: wipe table, counters, and high chair; sweep floor; clear breakfast dishes and load dishwasher, sweep floor
Everyone gets dressed and takes meds
Kids Play
*********Mom eats breakfast and prays morning prayer**********
Swap laundry to dryer and start 2nd load
*Grandma breakfast as she wakes
*Charlotte naps as tired
Components of Our Morning Routine
No Times
You probably notice that there are no times listed anywhere in our morning routine. That’s because my kiddos don’t wake up at the same time every day and I love it when they sleep in. I also need a ton of sleep, so I’m not the mom who wakes up an hour before her kids to get things done. When they wake up, I wake up.
The other reason there are no times is because with G, the same activity can take different amounts of time each day. Somedays, she’s easily distracted and thinking about a million things so breakfast takes an hour. Other days, she is ready and raring to go, so that bowl of cereal is in her belly in 10 minutes. Being home with them is a gift, and so if there’s no where we need to be, I like for our mornings to flow from one activity to another with as much peace as is possible. Not paying attention to the clock helps a lot with this at our house.
Everyone Helps as Much as They are Able
This is a family motto around here, and we take it seriously. The kids know that they are expected to help with any and all chores to the best of their abilities, without whining or complaining. For the most part they do this well and cheerfully, partially because they’re so used to it, and partially because they just genuinely like to help. They are happy to work alongside me, doing what I’m doing. This means that William and Gianna help with the AM kitchen chores and the laundry, and that I’m never working alone. They don’t get dismissed to their playtime until the chores are done.
Flexibility
Family life always requires a level of flexibility. William and Gianna are old enough to have settled nicely into our morning routine, and it helps that they usually wake up at about the same time, so they are usually at the same step at the same time. But Gram and Charlotte are old and young enough respectively to be on their own schedules. Charlotte still takes a morning nap, so whenever I notice that she’s tired, I stop where ever I am in our process, and put her down. Gram wakes up at different times each morning, and has her own morning routine before coming out of her room (which requires a good amount of scaffolding on my part to help her complete independently and is enough for it’s own post). Whenever Gram comes out, I stop whatever I’m doing to get her breakfast and coffee, so that she can continue her process unhindered.
Prayer Time
The prayer time is the most important component. I kept finding that if I didn’t pray first thing, it would get lost in the busyness of the day. But then I struggled, because I don’t wake up before my kids, and boy, as soon as they’re awake, they have NEEDS. So I settled on prayer being the thing I did the first moment I had to sit down in the morning. It was the first component into the routine. And then I worked backwards- looking at what I could accomplish while the kids breakfasted and what I was actually doing during that time.
How It’s Helped Us:
Gianna’s ADHD and tendencies toward anxiety mean that she struggles with transitions and even more when she doesn’t know what’s going to happen next. This makes having a routine incredibly valuable for her peace of mind and overall health and happiness. The routine means that I don’t have to ask the same thing a million times- she know what comes next. It calms her down, and helps her settle into the day easier because she knows what to expect. Since we instituted this version the routine last April, she has become remarkably helpful with morning chores, along with handling parts of the laundry routine, often doing a job before I have to ask because she knows it comes next.
Our morning routine has also helped foster William’s independence. He wants to be a part of the action, wants to be able to help as much as his older sister. He’s the type of kid who sits back and watches until he feels comfortable, so if things are different all the time, he’s unlikely to fully participate. But once he got comfortable with our routine, he felt bold enough to jump in and help.
But as good as it is for the kids to have a routine, it’s even better for me. When my husband once asked his dad how it was he managed to get up at 5am every morning to go swim, my FIL answered, “the important thing is not to make the decision every day. You make the decision once, and then you do it. Every day.” I love that.
For me, writing down the morning routine, with it’s time for chores and prayer, and hanging it on the fridge, this was making the decision once. And I haven’t gone back. Some mornings I’m exhausted and in pain, but I still find myself at the dishwasher, emptying the dishes and reloading. I still start that load of laundry. I still stop and pray as soon as the kids are done with breakfast. Because it’s there, in the morning routine.
As we get ready to start the new school year, I know that having the morning routine well established will make it easier to introduce the school routine, just as it has helped our summer routine to flow well.
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