We’ve gotten in the habit of listening to lauds and vespers sung by the talented Paul Rose of Sing the Hours. I’ve loved the opportunity its given my kids to get to know a form of prayer I’ve loved for over a decade and to become familiar with the rhythms of the psalms.
William is in a questioning stage, so prayer is often stopped to explain a word or phrase (another reason I love that this is a podcast- I can just pause and pick it up where we left off). On Tuesday morning he was struck by one of the antiphons: “Jesus called her by name: Mary. She turned to Him and said: Rabboni. Then he said to her: Do not touch Me. I have not yet ascended to my Father.”
What he wanted to know was why did Jesus not want to be touched? And for a moment I was struck by that too. He offered to let Thomas touch Him, didn’t he? For a moment my heart cried out, “hey wait, that’s not fair!”
But God doesn’t promise “fairness” and He doesn’t promise to treat us all the same- Thomas needed the offer to touch Jesus. Mary didn’t. She believed in the resurrection already.
Sometimes God says no to something that is good because He has something better planned for us. Sometimes He wants more for us than we want ourselves.
Mary wanted to hug Jesus and never let Him go. Jesus knew that if He didn’t ascend to the Father, she wouldn’t receive the Holy Spirit.
My son understood that explanation, and most of the time I do too. But sometimes, it’s hard, isn’t it?
I don’t have answers, but I’m going to work on doing what I’m sure Mary Magdalene did after that encounter- dwell on Jesus’ love for her and the unique bond between them instead of what she’d been denied.
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